Discover insightful advice on relationships

Question: I could use your advice on relationships. After four years of a long relationship with a man, I began to feel that I was enough is not romanced. It seemed that only with another comfortable; became we so broke by mutual agreement, we our relationship. Shortly thereafter I started see, someone who treats me the way and manner would like to be treated. My ex-boyfriend will now revived our relationship again. I'm not sure, who is better for me.

They are both exceptional people who want a serious relationship. If I am using one, I can't help but think of the other and one to compare to another. I would like to based on the comfort of an or the novelty of the other not my decision.

You are in fact a happy woman have two "exceptional" people in your life. Let's look at what we have. There is the familiarity on the one hand, the first and the fact that you have invested four years in the relationship.

The problem to keep the romance in a long-term relationship is not unusual, especially in women. It can be prepared in a variety of ways if both parties are committed to making it happen.

Even many years married couples have found that at least one night a week set aside for "Date night," alternately with each party the responsibility for the date after an impulse for the relationship can be.

However, this with the question of the large distance between the two of you is not. Not, if and as long as you are both certain to want to make, with more a commitment one of you would be unwise move.

With the second interest you have convenience instead of comfort. But this relationship is still new. So, it is premature to make a decision, although he has clearly the insider info, because they are local.

Is my question to you, why you have forced, now feel to this decision? Perhaps could explore both relationships and allow that your feelings are determined the direction that you should go. As long as both men for mating match your criteria, you could enjoy the company of both of them.

Trust that you know that many - if entweder--you would rather have a more permanent part of your life. My advice for relations of this type is still dating until a clear decision can be made by you.

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a clinical psychologist, child marriage, family therapist and sex therapist. Dr. Dreyfus, provides psychological services in the area of Los Angeles-Santa Monica for over 30 years. It offers individual psychotherapy, young people and adults, divorce mediation, couples counselling, group therapy, and career and career guidance and evaluation. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.

Originally published 3/5/98
Revised 1/16/09 by Marlene M. Maheu, PhD.