The real-life consequences of online dating

Over 100 helpful dating and relationship articles.

Welcome to the Top Dating Tips blog! Our editors post regularly on our dating trials and travails. Check us out for the latest news and trends related to relationships, dating and, our current obsession, online dating Websites.

Maybe they don't have this problem in places like New York and L.A., but mine is a small city by many standards, and it seems like every single person here is dabbling in online dating. On the surface, this is great -- it ostensibly ups your chances for love if there are tons of people to choose from. But you also have to keep in mind that everyone means everyone.

So far, I've personally run across several the profiles of several dudes from middle school, a guy who works at my favorite happy hour haunt, a very close friend and one of my doctors. It seems like no big deal -- and maybe it doesn't have to be. But you have to keep in mind that stumbling across what is essentially a personals ad for someone you usually see in a completely different light can be jarring. It can make things awkward when you two meet again in person. And it can bring up issues you never thought about before.

Your single boss could stumble upon your profile and find out you actually hate your job -- and him. You might hit on your son's teacher, jeopardizing your relationship with someone you need to be able to count on. You could run into someone you recently rejected while you're sauntering down the street and have to figure out whether to ignore him or say hi. Do you really want to see your ex's profile? How about your roommate's and your best friend's?

In the age of Twitter, Facebook and myriad other social networking sites, we're starting to learn that the question of who has access to your info - - and even who is knows that you use certain digital tools -- can really matter. If anything, it's yet another reason to be cautious about what we send out over the Web, and maybe even another chance to reexamine how it's affecting our real lives.

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Tiger Woods is a playa'

We've all heard a lot about Tiger Woods' "transgressions" since the now-infamous accident and hospital visit around Thanksgiving. He recently announced his comeback to the tour, but in between, he was "rehabilitated" in a sex addiction clinic. I can't help but put my two cents in.

First off, if there is such a thing as sex addiction, Tiger and his dozen or so floozies do not define it. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have "had relations" with over 10,000 women. Now, I'm not sure how that's even physically possible, but the man did amazing things on the court, so maybe he replicated those feats in other places. If sex addiction is real, his face is the one that should be on the poster. Linking Tiger and his admittedly sad situation to sex addiction because of a handful of infractions is like claiming he's an alcoholic because he had a second beer while Wilt went for a swim in Budweiser's 100,000 gallon tank. They're not even in the same league.

In fact, the very idea of sex addiction to me is laughable. You say "sex addiction", I say "being a guy". Potato, potaaato; tomato, tomaaato. Tiger only did what his male animal instincts told him to. (Ironic that he's nicknamed after one of the sluttiest animals.) Playing the field (or the whole stadium, in his case) is what guys are programmed to do. It's just that most of us aren't professional athletes and celebrities with hundreds of millions of dollars, so we don't have to worry about ladies throwing themselves at us (at least those of us who would actually go in for that sort of thing). Somehow, millions make a man more attractive, regardless of his actual appearance.

Fortunately, I have neither the green nor the looks of a Greek god (the admitting of which somehow makes me more attractive … You women from Venus should stop by Mars sometime … It's a cool place … Things actually make sense in Man Land), so it's easy to say I've been faithful "because I'm such a great guy." Maybe that's part of it, but it's also a heck of a lot easier when you don't have supermodels falling down around you like a Nor'easter in rainy season.

The only thing Tiger is guilty of is being married. If he was going to drop his pants like they were eight sizes too big and drenched in concrete, he shouldn't have ever said his vows. It leaves his wife and kids in a terrible spot, and him in a clinic, trying to figure out how to say with a straight face: "I'm Tiger, and I'm addicted to sex."

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What to buy your sweetheart for Christmas

Coming up with the perfect Christmas present for your significant other can be daunting, especially when you've been dating such a short time that you're not quite familiar with the eccentricities of his or her music taste but you still want to impress with an unexpectedly thoughtful and insightful gift that will buy you a few more weeks, at least.

Flowers and chocolates, a la Valentine's Day, are very sweet, but they pretty much prove you don't know your honey at all, unless she's super into exotic buds or something. If you don't happen to be dating a horticulturist, don't go this route. Here's a quick-and-dirty list of our top picks for new couples:

A book -- Unless your lover is an English major, you probably can't go wrong with a classic that has something to do with romance. Go with "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" or "Love in Time of Cholera." It gives you the perfect chance to hint at your deeper, tortured, artistic side, and you get to write a sappy inscription. (Hint: If you haven't read the book, stay away from comparing you and your sweetie to the characters. Fiction authors are not to be trusted with your relationship.)

A soulful hits compilation -- Even if it's not his style, no one is going to balk at a sexy collection of slow-danceable love songs (at least not to your face). It gives the two of you a chance to get close, and if the cheese factor is over the top, y'all can laugh about it together and then put on something good.

Massage oil -- Ok, you might want to be careful with this one, but if you play your cards right, it’s a great gift. If you're ready to take things to the next level, it implies that it's time to get physical. If you're not, this present can come off as a little presumptuous, but you can always backtrack and offer up a neck-and-shoulder massage to smooth things over.

No matter what gift you go with, the fact that you're putting some effort into it bodes well for the future of your union. Don't be afraid to dive in and find something your new love will really like -- just take our advice and stay away from gift cards!

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Where do you stand on love and money?

Over 100 helpful dating and relationship articles.

Welcome to the Top Dating Tips blog! Our editors post regularly on our dating trials and travails. Check us out for the latest news and trends related to relationships, dating and, our current obsession, online dating Websites.

What kind of money-savvy do you look for in a significant other? If you're baffled by the question, it's time to get wise. In tough economic times like these (heck, in any times at all), money and how the person you might want to eventually marry handles, thinks about and spends their greenbacks can have a massive impact on your would-be relationship (not to mention whether your future kids go to college or work at Burger King).

Most dating sites take you through the in's and out's, asking you practically everything about the kind of person you'd like to be with. What do they look like? Where do they hang out? What size shoe do they wear? You're grilled about everything except how they manage finances, who they go to for advice about monetary setbacks, and what they'd be willing to give up if they lost their only source of income.

But Perfectmatch is different. The site's Love & Money Assessment lets you evaluate your financial compatibility with your matches, addressing this crucial (but often taboo) subject before the ball gets rolling. Integrated into the Duet Total Compatibility System, these 7 questions ask about your financial habits and values to help you determine the ideal economic profile for your potential mates.

Are you searching for a saver or desperate for someone who's willing to shell out for spontaneity? Find out how you stack up financially, and save now with our Perfectmatch.com discount!

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Social Dating

There’s no doubt that social media like Facebook, Flickr and Twitter make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family, promote your business, and follow your favorite topics. But like any other tool, social media work best when used wisely - especially when it comes to dating. Making connections and getting timely information can be useful on the dating scene. On the other hand, it’s easy to slip into TMI territory with someone you hardly know. So how can you use your social networks to boost your social life?

Control Yourself - your online self. Use search engines to see what information is available online about you. You may find that your home address, relatives’ names and other personal information are out there. Do you want every potential date to have access to that data? If not, now’s the time to tighten up your privacy on Facebook and Twitter, decide which Flickr photos you want to be private or friends-only, and think about whether Foursquare really needs to know that you’re down at the corner bar right this minute. Make your searchable self show only what you’re comfortable sharing with strangers.

Search Around - If you haven't been looking up your potential dates online, start now. Online searches and public postings can help you verify that your love interest is who she says she is or does what she says she does. They can also reveal red flags or lapses in judgment that you might not otherwise learn about until much later - if ever - in a relationship. If nothing else, you’ll find out whether your potential date has a good handle on her online image.

Think Before You Friend - A good date is a good start, but you don’t need to link in with everyone you have dinner or drinks with. Carefully considering whom you add to your networks can save time and awkwardness, if those early dates don’t pan out. When you do add a new person to your networks, read his posts, see who his friends are, and look into how he acts online. And since he’ll be doing the same with you, once you add him, consider what you post. Do you want this guy reading about your extensive list of food allergies or your cat’s stomach rash while you’re trying to kindle a romance?

Pace Yourself - You wouldn’t drop by your date’s office five times a day to say hi, so show some discretion in making virtual contact. Too much social media interplay can be annoying and make you appear needy. If you’re on the receiving end of constant virtual attention, it could be a flag for anything from over-eagerness to a personality disorder. Decide how much contact you’re comfortable with and maintain that boundary.

Keep it Real - In the early stages of dating, it’s tempting to text, tweet or message your new love interest a lot, because it’s so easy to do. But don’t mistake virtual contact for really getting to know someone. There’s much you can learn about a person in person, or even over the phone, that you can’t online. Tone of voice, facial expressions, and the eagerness or reluctance with which someone discusses a subject are all types of information that you can only gather by being there.

And that’s the whole goal of dating after all: to enjoy someone’s company in person. So use your social media wisely to help you present yourself, protect yourself, and find the right person for you. Then spend some quality time together – offline.

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Formula of a healthy relationship

Healthy relationships are abased on the bloom of the bodies in the relationship. This is not absolute to concrete health; in actuality the concrete bloom is lower in accent for acumen a advantageous relationship. Brainy and airy bloom are the best influencing factors back it comes to the bloom of a relationship.

Mental health

The easiest way to explain brainy bloom is to say it is how an abandoned angle and treats themselves. Yes, brainy bloom is about afflicted by alfresco stimuli, but it still boils bottomward to how the abandoned responds to that bang appear themselves. Besides, activity in itself is annihilation added than an accession of alfresco influences and experiences. It is how that abandoned responds, grows and matures from those adventures that admeasurement their brainy health. By attractive at it in that manner, it is abundant easier to see how important brainy bloom is to a advantageous relationship. If addition does not accept a advantageous accord with themselves, again they will not be able to acquaintance or accord to a advantageous accord with anyone else.

Spiritual health

While about bodies tend to accessory adherence with religion, there is absolutely a abundant aberration amid the two. For the abstraction of advantageous relationships, we will accept to abstracted the two alike more. Airy bloom is added acceptable associated on how an abandoned angle and treats others. This is our airy bloom because, if we are affectionate and about admiring to others, we tend to be spiritually sound. But if addition about takes advantage of others and about mistreats people, again their airy bloom is actual lacking, and over time can absolutely dissipate. Airy bloom may be added credible to the addition of a advantageous relationship, as it is how addition treats others. Since a accord is the adamant alternation and advance of two individuals, anniversary individual's airy bloom is important.

Tips to get real result from online dating

Im abiding by now you accept apparent at atomic a few commercials blame the abstraction of application online dating sites as a way to accommodated women, get into a relationship, and maybe alike acquisition the babe you are activity to marry. It seems like such an accessible affair to do, right? Join the site, ample out whatever it is that they appetite you to ample out and you should be able-bodied on your way to accepting dates and affair women or is it that easy? Best guys who end up abutting an online dating armpit acquisition that it does not appear so accessible to them and they wind up cerebration that they either aloof cannot get this dating affair right, or that it does not assignment out at all.